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MISSION
LOG: 10/24/00
Members: Max Action, Texas Kidd, Fuck, & Cap
Action Squad had been aware of the
entrance to the Pillsbury tunnel system for literally years, but never got
around to exploring it for some reason until very recently. Well, one
contributing factor was no doubt that a lot of people are sissies and don’t
want to wade through a river just to muck about underground. But we
finally decided it was time to check it out, as we’d explored every nook and
cranny of an extensive tunnel system next door.
The entry consists of two gaping openings in the
bluff made of stone, rotted mortar, and rotteder (yes, that is a word ...
now) timbers. The water flowing out of them was at that time just above
knee level, and full of little fish. Not far inside, the two tunnels
merged into one. We climbed up onto the boards up above the water and
then scaled a rocky embankment. At the top, a hole in a wall opened
up into a noisy cavern featuring a large underground waterfall and various
rusted out hulks of machinery.
There
was no other way out of this space, so we backed up and out and dropped down
into the water, where we found ourselves facing a very large and pissed-off
looking raccoon. He was glaring at us from the mouth of a smallish drainage
tube about 10 feet away. Whenever we shouted or hissed at him, he’d
pull his head back in … and then pop his head back out a moment later looking
meaner than ever. We gave him a wide berth.
A side passage with thigh-deep water led us to a
huge rusted something or another. We found a hole about 6 feet up one
of the side walls, which we climbed into, finding ourselves in a very interesting
series of poured concrete rooms, inhabited by dozens of bats. We left
them alone, and they, in turn, satisfied themselves with either ignoring us
or flying around our heads in crazed circles and then vanishing. This
was also the point where we were most able to “enjoy” the result of wearing
water-proof boots in water levels higher than the boot tops: they do a simply
wonderful job of preventing any water from getting out. Squishy.
There were three possible exits from the series of
rooms: the way we’d come in; an opening into the large entrance shaft, about
10 feet above the water; and, finally, a crack in the natural rock wall in
the furthest room. The crack was a narrow, twisting passage filled with
jagged chunks of rock and bats. Texas Kidd wanted to stay behind, and
we didn’t argue. If the damn thing came down on us, she could get help.
Or at least tell our friends and families we were dead. So she hung
out in the rooms, with one of our three lights and one of the cameras.
We wiggled in, one at a time, worming our way around
and between the rocks that clogged the way. There was barely enough
room to move, and the bats had even less room; prevented from doing loops
around our heads, they had to satisfy themselves with flying out into Texas’
face every time she looked in after us. Trickling water was everywhere, and
had formed some really amazing rock formations over the decades.
I’ve been doing Action Squads for over 5 years, and
have been way up high and way underground a million times. I’ve been
one step away from death more times than I can count. But this was the
first time I really felt like I might wind up dead.
The
rocks we were climbing through were clearly cave-in rubble, and the crack
we scraped our way through was the space the rocks had occupied before dropping
from the ceiling and smashing down. Some had not fallen all that long
ago, either: many of the rock formations had clearly not formed around the
large boulders that were on top of them, but rather, had been already been
formed when the rocks crashed into them.
I was painfully aware that people don’t normally go dragging themselves through
the crack, and that if a cave-in was on the verge of taking place, the noise,
heat, and vibration we created could easily bring it down on our heads and
torsos and limbs. To make matters worse, the
further we crawled without getting to anything other than more crack in the
rock, the more I began to think it was about to simply dead-end, leaving us
with the task of backing out feet first ... yikes.
Unsurprisingly, I found myself thinking a bit about life, death, and the like
as I led our creeping charge deeper into the earth. “Oh well,” I thought,
“I’m going to die someday anyway … I’d rather go out kicking ass like this
than drooling in some nursing home.”
The crack continued on for about 150 feet, and while
fearing death is part of what makes Action Squad fun, I’d be lying if I did
not admit I was relieved to be out of it. Plenty of time left to die
before the nursing home, eh? (Including the trip back through that fucking
crack.)
We
found ourselves in an amazing cave (the Chute Cave, although we didn't know
it at the time). It had once been much larger, clearly, but was mostly
caved in. There were massive timbers beams everywhere that had once
helped hold up the cave roof, but now were not even having much luck supporting
themselves. The air was extremely humid, and we learned quickly to exhale
sideways, as normal breathing would create an opaque cloud of condensation
in your field of vision. A tunnel led out from the cave on the side
opposite of the hellcrack, about six feet high with an arched ceiling (the
Chute Tunnel). We were less than shocked to find it was home to a bunch
of bats. (Note: Until later research revealed the true name of this
system, we had dubbed it “The Bat Cave.”)
As we squelched down the tunnel, the mud got deeper
and gooier and stickier. Quite a ways down, a small, crawling-height
shaft came in from the left bringing a steady flow of water. From this
point onward in the main tunnel, the water/mud got even deeper, until it got
all the way up to our crotches. It was so sticky that it seemed well
within the realm of possibility that it would suck off one of my boots, even
though they were lace-up combat boots. In fact, I woke up the next morning
with a bit of a limp, from yanking my leg too forcefully out of the mud at
some point. Sadly, we have no pictures of ourselves in the waist-deep
mud, as the camera that we brought through the crack ran out of film right
before we started down.
Far ahead, the tunnel took a right turn, and I went
ahead to scout it out. The tunnel simply continued out of sight in that
direction, and the water/mud looked to get even deeper. Texas was still
waiting for us back at the mouth of the crack with only bats for company,
and we wanted to get back to her in a reasonable amount of time, before she
either decided we died, got eaten by that raccoon, or just got bored and left
us stranded. We vowed to return in the spring (after letting the bats
hibernate in peace all winter) and go further down the tunnel, crawl down
the water shaft that intersected it, and take some better photos.
On the way back, I was secretly glad to be the leader of
the trip, since I’d be the first one clear of the deathtrap crack in the wall
(bwah ha ha!). The walk back out through the river cleaned the worst
of the mud off our boots and legs, but we remained plenty filthy enough to
turn Texas’ car seats into a pleasant shade of rusty shit brown.
This was one of my favorite missions ever, and I can’t
wait to go back.
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10/24/00 PHOTOS
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MISSION
LOG: 08/18/01
Members: Max Action & Maggot
Almost a year later, Action Squad
returned with adequate film and batteries for our lights. The trip in was
much creepier with only two people. Good photos were difficult to take, as
mist rising from our bodies fogged out the flash; we learned to hold the camera
at arm's length to minimize this effect. The raccoon did not make an appearance
this time 'round, but his friends the bats more than made up for it by dive
bombing my face repeatedly, which, to Maggot's amusement, caused me to utter
involuntary exclamations every single time.
We did
not make it further down Chute's Mudhole/Tunnel, as Maggot is rather short
and became completely bogged down when the sticky clay reached her waist.
Before leaving, however, we turned off our lights and spent at least 15 minutes
sitting on a fallen, flowstone-covered pillar. With our eyes unable to focus
on anything at all, we became newly aware of the amazing music of the cave.
The forgotten cavern far beneath the busy city above was playing a natural
symphony that only a hardy, lucky few have heard in the last century. Water
dripped, ran, and danced in dozens of hidden pools and rock formations, the
sound echoing off thousands of stone surfaces. The combined effect was subtle,
yet breathtaking and uniquely beautiful. I cannot find the words to explain
its power. The unexpected pleasure of sitting silently in the pure darkness
of Chute's Cave, surrounded by the natural music of history and change, is
one of my most valued urban adventuring memories.
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